Women's Day
by Jesus.Lives
Summary: Marceline tricks Finn and Jake into dressing like Fionna and Cake for the day, just to mess with Simon a little bit. A two-shot. Has lots of mentionings of Fionna/Ice King and maybe a little Finnceline. Totally humorous crack.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N.**_  
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_This is a complete crack fic.  
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_The Ice King and Finn is not something I ship..._

_But TIK ships himself pretty hardcore with Fionna._

_And Marceline likes messing with Finn..._

_So this was born._

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**Women's Day  
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"You guys know what day it is today don't you?" Marceline asked, floating in through their window and ending up on their couch first thing that morning as the two were having breakfast.

"Nope," said Jake.

"No clue," replied Finn.

Marceline chuckled. "It's Women's Day you dweebs."

"Ooooohhhhhh," said Finn. He thought about it long and hard. "Nope. That doesn't mean anything to me. What is it Marcy?"

"Yeah, I'm with him," Jake pointed a thumb at his brother. "I've got no idea about any Women's days."

"All it means is that you dress up like women for the day. It's supposed to make you feel empathy, for what women go through."

"Um, okay..." replied Jake. Something about it just didn't add up but since he'd never heard of it before he couldn't really question it.

"Empa..what?"

"It helps you understand women. You DO want to understand women don't you Finn?" Marceline was pressing on his sore spot. She knew that he had trouble understanding girls. She played with that fact a lot, messing around with him and telling him lies about how to get girls to like him. It was actually really funny. Finn wore his heart on his sleeve, he was kind of cute and pathetic like that.

"Glob yeah I do!"

"So I've got something for you to wear today, you just change into it and then you both can spend the entire day UNDERSTANDING women."

"Sounds great Marcy."

"Where do we sign up?" said Jake.

"Well, I was thinking the Jake could make himself into the more feminine version of a cat, just for today. Oh and I bought some paint to give you some stripes. And let's give you a bow instead of a collar."

"I can do that." Jake contorted his body shape, into a feminine cat with womanly breasts. You can't forget the womany breasts on Women's Day. He strutted in front of a mirror. "Dang, I look GOOD."

"You'd better make yourself sound more like a woman too, Jake" Marceline instructed.

"Oh Honey, I look GOOD." Jake tried again in a voice a couple of octaves higher.

Finn went off to get changed and returned wearing a short skirt and a different shirt and hat, juggling two oranges in his hands. "What are these for? Breakfast?"

"No Finn." Marceline told him straight and then took them from him and shoved them into the bra that she hoped he put on. "Now I just need to fix your hat." She stuck her hand under it and felt around for a tuft of hair that she could pull out. It was quite easy to find one. "There done."

Marceline stood back to admire her handiwork. "You look really pretty as a girl Finn." She told him, putting a hand on his shoulder and he blushed. This was priceless. Now all she had to do was make sure Ice King nabbed a princess today and the rest would take care of itself.

"We both look so HAWT," Jake said in his lady-voice. "I would totally get to tier two with myself."

"Get ready for Adventure Time - womens style!" said Finn.

Marceline was glad these guys were so gullible. It was as easy as throwing them out of their house when she first met them. "Remember you need to sound like women too, just to make it all complete."

"Get ready for Adventure Time - womens style!" said Finn this time in his girl-voice.

"We're seriously going out like this?" asked Jake, a little concerned now. It was all well and good cross dressing in your own house but going where everyone could see them... maybe not such a good idea.

"Of course, how else will the princesses know that you're trying to understand them?" Marceline countered. She had an answer for everything.

"Yeah, Marceline's right. We've got to get out there dude. It's the right thing to do." Finn, nodded and brushed aside the tuft of hair which was annoyingly getting in his face. He pulled out his sword and lifted it high. "For the womens!"

"For the womens!" Jake repeated and they both went charging out of the tree house. All that inner laughter that Marceline was dealing with became outer laughter, as she laughed uproariously at the two boys that she had wrapped around her finger. This was too good. She couldn't wait to see what Simon would do when he saw them.

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**This will be a two-shot, clearly.  
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**Review for more crack.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N.**_  
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_Why Ice King has a fridge when his entire house is a freezer, I'll never know._

_Okay, it's now going to be a three-shot._

_Because I wanted to end it right._

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**Women's Day  
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Kidnapping princesses was so drab. It was starting to get old.  
"I don't even know why I do it anymore Gunter. Just a habit I guess." The Ice King was waiting for his one true love Fionna to step her way out of fiction and become real, he knew that nothing with these princesses would ever mean anything... not while Fionna was out there somewhere.

But it was on the to-do list today, stuck up on his ice fridge so the Ice King figured he'd better hop to it. But he paused a moment. He didn't remember writing any to-do lists. But there it was, hanging on his fridge so it must have got there somehow.

"Buy milk," Simon read. "Kidnap princess... Work on abs... Well, it sounds like me! I must have written it."

So Simon went out and nabbed himself a princess. One of the lamest princesses. Ghost princess.

"I don't even want to do this," he reassured the princess as he looked her up in his cage. "I'm in love with someone else, so this kidnapping really doesn't mean anything. It's an entirely platonic kidnapping... so maybe we'll just sit here and play a game or something."

Of course he'd only just managed to say that when someone busted through his door. Two someones. It must have been Finn and Jake. They were so predicable.

"Unhand that princess!" The Ice King heard called out, and then it followed with a clearing of the throat and a more feminine voice doing the talking. "I mean, unhand that princess Ice King!"

A girl? He wasn't expecting visitors. Much less female visitors... but as the Ice King floated closer, hands aglow, he realized it was no ordinary girl. Could it be? Had all his dreams and wishes come true?

"Is it really you?" Ice King asked, mouth agape, looking at the beautiful damsel that looked like she'd stepped right out of his books.

The damsel looked confused. "Uh, yeah, of course it's me."

"You really came to find me?"

"Of course we did. We came to get you to unhand that princess!"

"Yeah, unhand that princess Ice Jerk!" said her feline companion.

"I just- I just can't believe you've found me. I've been searching so long for you... and here you are... in front of me."

Finn gave Jake a sideways glance and murmered to him. "This is getting really weird right about now."

"Yeah Ice King is acting weirder than usual."

"I just can't believe that you wanted to find me as badly as I wanted to find you!"

"Uh, believe it man. We've been wanting to bust you all day."

"You look just as beautiful in the flesh."

"Oh Glob." Finn's face started show show signs of realization of what was happening.

"Now come over here and give this handsome devil a kiss." He advanced on Finn.

Finn screamed and waved his sword around in front of him.

"Run man!" Yelled Jake, darting out of there himself.

"But the princess!" Finn called back to his friend, who had already bolted from the premises. It was too late to run, he had to face up to the Ice King. "Ice Kingggggg!" Finn's voice had long gone back to his regular tone, but it seemed the Ice King was too captivated to notice. "I don't want to be your girlfriend!"

"But why?" Asked the Ice King, stopping his advance and sniffling pitifully.

"Because I'm not into you dude."

"It's because of that Prince Gumball isn't it?"

"It's what?"

"You're in love with Prince Gumball who will never love you and that's why you think you can never love me. But you need to give up on Gumball. He's not right for you."

Okay, Finn was so confused. "Ummm... I don't like any princes."

"It's okay, you can admit it. He's very hunky. I'm sure if I were a girl..."

"I'm not a girl dude!"

"You don't have to deny it. I can see how you're moving those hips and you're most definitely a girl."

Hadn't he ever heard of Women's Day? The day that you dress up and... well... apparently not. So Finn did the only thing he could, he reached into his brassiere, brought out the oranges and flung them at him. "I'm not a girl!"

"Woah! You keep oranges... in there?" Ice King exclaimed and then moved further, reaching out a hand to pull him in. "Whatever my little snookums. I'm sure I can overlook whatever snacking tendencies you have." He puckered up.

The Ice King still wasn't getting it. With a frustrated yowl, Finn started tearing off the clothing madly until he was left only in his underwear. He was huffing and puffing by the end of it and it took him a few seconds to realize that was a dumb idea. He was cold. Very, very cold.

"Finn?"

"Yes. It's Finn! So no kissing me dude!"

"This is very disappointing." He tugged on his beard and then spread out his hands. "You played with my heart for the last time Finn!"

"What?"

Icicles went flying. Finn screamed and was lifted into the air just in time.

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**One more chapter.  
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**Review for more crack.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N.**_  
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_I didn't know how to end this.  
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_So it's a whacked out fitting Adventure Time ending._

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**Women's Day  
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"That wasn't nearly as much fun as I thought it would be." Came a bored sounding voice from the ceiling of the Ice Tower where they now were.

"Marcelineeeeee!" Finn yelled, putting all the pieces together. This was a cruel prank... but he had to admire the genius in it.

"Finn! Are you okay?" Jake was stretching himself through the window. He took one look at Marceline clutching an almost naked Finn and Ice King down below jumping up and down like a maniac. "What'd I miss?"

"Not much." Marceline drifted down and set Finn back on his feet. "Though you do look a little cold there Finn."

Finn blushed but then went back to business, confronting Marcy on her pranking biz. "Marceline! There is no Women's Day is there?"

"There is... but people don't normally cross dress. I just thought you guys would have fun with it." She replied with her usual casual air.

"This wasn't fun! It was horrible! Ice King tried to smooch me and then slice me."

"Okay, well I thought I would have fun with it."

"You went too far this time lady!" Jake chided her.

"We're getting you back Marceline! I don't know when! I don't know where! But you'd better be ready!"

"Mmm hmm. You've messed with us the last time Vampire Queen!"

"Doesn't anyone care about how I feel?" Ice King was now sitting pitifully on the ground with his robe wafting around him.

"No!"

"But... my heart junk!" He cluched at his chest but once again was ignored as they turned their attentions back to Marceline.

"Look you guys, I know you thought I went too far. But it had to be done. You guys make really convincing girls."

"I'm so mad at you right now Marceline."

"Oh come on! I'll take you home! You too Jake, as long as you shrink."

Underwear-clad Finn pulled out his sword on her. "No!"

"Ooookkkayyyy. I'm sorry Finn. You don't have to take it so seriously."

"Seriously? SERIOUSLY? You humiliated me. And you made me almost kiss the Ice King!"

"I didn't want to kiss him either," the Ice King put in dismally.

"Wenk," said Gunter.

"And you both can get me back. Don't be such weenies."

Humph. But Finn didn't protest any more. "Fine."

"Good, I want to get out of here and do something manly," said Jake as he shrunk down and jumped into Finn's hand.

Marcelline picked Finn up and flew him out of the castle.

And poor Ice King was forgotten about again, as his dreams were dashed of having his favorite heroine within his clutches. "Oh cruel, cruel fate! Can't you throw me a bone!" He wined, to that cruel cruel Fate who was taunting him.

And then all of a sudden a portal opened and the Ice King could hear a voice. "Cake, this way!"

"That's not funny Finn."

Fate had just gotten crueler.

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** Crack complete.**


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